Surprised Again

Wow, surprised again. Follow up to Aug. 9, 2009. I saw him today in the Hall. He was playing volleyball and said, "Hey, Ms. Steph! We gonna' talk?" Oh my gosh! I thought he was waiting trial as an adult for something that would mean I'd never see him again! "Sure, Babe. I came to talk to another boy and I'll see you right after this."

Such heart-grabbers, these kids. Who knows why? I've asked myself 1,000 times why they have such appeal to me. I wonder if I'll ever know?

So I talked to the first boy, and he was sad, remorseful to be locked up again after doing well for a while. He listened as I encouraged him, but admitted he had done way more "dirt" than they had him on. I just listened. "Okay, Boy, so here's another chance for you. You have just a little time to do. Do it and remember how it feels."

"Okay. I love you, Ms. Steph."
"Love you too, Kid."

I used to never say this in return. But it's true. And love is just that. Not promises. Not for me, nor for him. We all need all the love we can get.

Now the boy who thought I came to see him.
"Ms. Steph, I stopped banging!!! For reals, no more. I have a girl who helped me get off the attempted murder charge, and she has a little boy. I love him, Ms. Steph. He calls me Daddy."
I think about all the boys over all the years who have loved someone as unreliable as him. Like he loved his own father, who went to prison repeatedly. And I think, love is good, even when it may be temporary. He loves being loved and the boy needs someone to love. Okay, so I'm not God; I can't judge. Just someone who has the privilege of shared secrets.

"Honey, I am proud of you. I know that was tough."
"Yes, Mam, it was really tough, but my girl loves me and I want something different for my boy."
I think, who wouldn't love you? Probably all the people you have victimized. Me? I'm not in that category, so I can afford mercy. I hope, for the Lord's sake, I'd show it any way.
"So what now, Kid?"
"Well, I was sentenced to placement for a while. I'm almost 18 so this has to be the last time."
"Yup. Sure does."

What follows is a long conversation about all the twists and turns life has taken in the last year. Then a promise from me to call a family member for him, and to visit again next week. This I will do until he leaves. Then letters. And prayers. The most effective help for him, and this visit a comfort and an answer to prayer for me. Who knew?